The plan that didn’t go as planned

So here I am a good few months down the line from when I last posted about me going on a health kick!

For two months I was regularly going to the gym and eating healthily, my body and mind felt amazing and I lost over a stone in that short amount of time. Life was looking up until mr temptation came into play, mr temptation took the form of social gatherings this time around.

After a heavily weekend I’d convince myself id start up my health kick ‘next week’ but next week never came. I’m convinced that since my body had a glimpse of what the healthy lifestyle feels like it absolutely hates me twice as much now. My mental health has deteriorated, I have left my job, cake is helping me expand daily.

However amongst all of the madness, I have fallen in love; a forbidden love but love. Surely I wouldn’t have wanted to ruin this extraordinary pattern of complexity that runs through my life, no sir and this new found love is not an exception to that rule.

I am aware I have let some of you down who were looking forward to hearing about my old-new-health journey, but now I am whole heartedly apologising for that but I promise you if you are willing to come along with me, this journey of forbidden love is much more enticing.

But will you chose to come with me this time ? And feel the adventure with me? If you are willing to give me a second chance I am willing to write for you.

 

 

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Beginning a journey

I want to take you on a journey with me. The last 24 years of my life have been riddled with cultural expectations, societal pressures and all round drama. It was easy for me to become consumed with never being ‘good enough’ as that’s what had been drilled into my head since childhood, this left me with sorrowful thoughts about both existence and myself.  I am happy to finally say one day earlier this month I woke up and thought ‘NO MORE’ and that is absolutely all it took for everything to change. For the first time in my entire life I have chosen to invest in myself, a massive hang up of mine was my body. Over the years life took a toll and a massive weight gain was the result. I am Zara, an average 24 year old woman, and here I will document my road to fulfilment.

August 2017:

12stone Aim:10stone. Problem areas; arms and tummy.

I have joined the gym, invested in dumbells and healthy supplements.

Currently reading: Osho:self respect

Lets see what happens. Feel free to join me.

Maybe

“I think I’m dying, and nobody can see me!”

Tell them to open their hearts and maybe they will.

“I think I’m dying and nobody can hear me!”

Tell them to listen with their souls and maybe they will.

“I think I’m dying and nobody can feel me!”

Tell them to touch with their spirit and maybe they will.

 

Maybe their noise overpowered their thoughts, maybe life’s physicality overpowered their heartfelt emotion, maybe they were the ones who were already dead.

The Sweetest Girl

Let me tell you about the sweetest girl,

The sweetest girl of all time.

 

Whose life got destroyed, her image distorted and her body abused by a hundred more than nine.

The sweetest girl of all time.

 

Scarred tissue inside her soul, the blackening of her dear sweet heart, the fingerprints of lies indent her body, but she smiles just fine.

The sweetest girl of all time.

 

Her life was built for simplicity, they can’t annihilate her divinity.

Shine.

The sweetest girl of all time.